Geriatric Fart

Can't all grandmothers be sweet, loving and gives out money on command???

I believe that you don't have to like your relatives, you just have to respect them; I'm having a very hard time following that credo...

My Grandmother has been eyeing, nagging and irritating the heckle out of me. She keeps on pushing my buttons just praying that I blow my top. I give in every once and then but my own mother, who her self wants to shout out several colorful phrases at her (although she'd never acknowledge that), keeps holding me back saying, "Just stay out of her way, she's old." Now what is she implying? Several things come to mind

A. I can't take her on...

Imagine, me, an eighteen year old, and an old woman, just waiting to bite the dust, in a steal cage match, which would you think would win? I rest my case, people.

B. She just might croak tonight so just hang in there!!!

Could my mother be implying, "Just act good around her for a while, I'm sure it's not going to be that long. And if were extra good, she might leave us a small yet large enough fortune so we can be happy for the rest of our lives!"

This, of course, implies that my mother is greedy and very self-serving, which are things that I'm not obliged to comment on since she is my mother.

C. She's a senile old crone. Respect her dodo head...

Acting ignorant while she's the one with stupid signs pointing at her head...

I cant do that if she's giving me reasons to hate her guts!!! Really, believe me, I try my best not to upset her but she finds the time to mess me up that I have to scream into a pillow to relieve the need to take a shotgun and blast her away to that old people home in the sky.

I know which one my mother really meant, but I considered it last. It should speak volumes already. I guess we all know who's not going to be in the will, don't we...