What Life?: August 2004

What Life?

- Shoving life's stupidities down my throat and trying to love it - and then some -

Monday, August 23, 2004

Satan, Here I Come!!!

So, here's the 4-1-1.

My friend had this test in her blog and I decided to take the damn thing. To my complete horror, I was assigned to be in the seventh circle (level) of hell!!! Hmmm... I think you'd agree that i should be lower down, dont you think???

the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Moderate

Take the Dante's" Inferno Hell Test

If you wish to be tested on how evil you truly are take the damn test thing. Although I'm almost sure you'd be lieng for your salvation. Hehehehehehwe...

Sunday, August 22, 2004

Hard Knock Life

Tears are not just salty water, it's emotion in raw form...

I found myself crying for the first time in the U tonight. I'm surprised it took this long for the emotions to set in, or the reality of it.

It's just one big quasi-reality, this whole trip to the U bit. I wish I could just go home, I wish I could raise the white flag and surrender without consequences, buy the plane ticket home and take the next plane out of here... but it's not.

My great grandmother's dream, my grandmother's dream, my mother's desire, is that we (the entire FAMILY, by family meaning the Filipino definition), all live in the U Who am I to dredge their hopes and dreams in so much muck. It is true, and let it resound over all mountains, that I have no desire to live among the denizens of the land of the free, I desire to be with my blood brothers... but I still feel the need to respect their want's and need's...

I guess I just have to wait it out here... continue my water letting from my eyes, rise again in the morning in this as of yet tedious and repetitive life style till my will brakes or I die... which ever comes first...

Saturday, August 21, 2004

Surreal Employment

The Quantum Family Singularity Strikes Again!!!! (to be explained in a later post)

I just need to vent dear readers. Please take kind consideration for any expressions or words that might offend yours.

Yesterday, I had two job interviews lined up. One was in a day care center(yes, I know what your thinking those-who-know-me, me and kids, not exactly the kind of mix one would take a drink out of) and the other one was in a marketing company.

I was with my mum and dad for the interview for the day care because they were applying for jobs there as well. My cousin was there too because we weren't familiar enough with the area to go gallivanting around New York by ourselves. We got there around seven-thirty in the morning. We met with the receptionist that told us about the job. She was talkative and very noisy. She was also, it's odd from a person who works for a learning institution, idiotic. She kept repeating things she already said to people, kept insisting on unnecessary things that we should see.

Time was running and my other interview was on another island in the other side of town. I had to get my ass from lower Manhattan, China town to Flushings. It was already nine-thirty and my appointment was at eleven. I couldn't wait to meet the owner of the school. It was just a good thing that the I wasn't required to meet the owner and that she only needed to see my mom. I took a van with my cousin (a.k.a. guide)that was headed to Flushings and, to my surprise, New York traffic had been kind to me.

We had about an hour to blow away. Luckily there was a near by park where we could sit. We bought a couple of slurpies in a seven-eleven and sat there. As we sat in a couple of swings, I couldn't help noticing that it was directly in front of a cemetery. A playground and a cemetery infront of it, there had to be some fung suei(did I spell that right) rules that were broken.

My darn cousin, who's in adolescent horny-ness stage of his life, couldn't take his eyes away from the female resident's of the area. Dropping his jaws at the mere sight of an almost-beautiful-but strangely-not-enough-to-impress-me girl.

I would like to take this time to apologies to those who might be living there for the recent actions and words that my cousin might have used during that time. I promise to never again bring him near Flushings.

After his wandering eyes had been snapped back into position, we were chased away from our cold frosty drinks by wasps in the park. I spent a dollar fifty on that thing!!! You owe me wasp!!!

After that the interview went well. The manager was nice although during the interview he winked at me. Hmmm... Now there's something you don't see everyday.

I ofcourse got accepted, but in it was a little bump before I was in employment bliss. I needed one hundred and sixty-five dollars for the sales kit , which would normally cost four hundred and thirty-five dollars. Now there's a predicament.

I ofcourse wanted the position offered, but where to find the money? I asked my mother about it just about an hour ago as I'm writing this horse-bla. I got a solid, yet calmly, and long winded no. Included in it was a big discussion on what I really wanted in life which was a big "What were we talking about again?" situation for me. I wish I were just so Go damn rich you know or at least everything in the word was free, which ever you think is suitable oh one-who's-high-above.

My mother has gracefully requested me to give up my position there, which I'm, sadly, obliged to follow. She said she had some work lined up for me anyway. Ayahhhhh... another restaurant... I want to die...

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Geriatric Fart

Can't all grandmothers be sweet, loving and gives out money on command???

I believe that you don't have to like your relatives, you just have to respect them; I'm having a very hard time following that credo...

My Grandmother has been eyeing, nagging and irritating the heckle out of me. She keeps on pushing my buttons just praying that I blow my top. I give in every once and then but my own mother, who her self wants to shout out several colorful phrases at her (although she'd never acknowledge that), keeps holding me back saying, "Just stay out of her way, she's old." Now what is she implying? Several things come to mind

A. I can't take her on...

Imagine, me, an eighteen year old, and an old woman, just waiting to bite the dust, in a steal cage match, which would you think would win? I rest my case, people.

B. She just might croak tonight so just hang in there!!!

Could my mother be implying, "Just act good around her for a while, I'm sure it's not going to be that long. And if were extra good, she might leave us a small yet large enough fortune so we can be happy for the rest of our lives!"

This, of course, implies that my mother is greedy and very self-serving, which are things that I'm not obliged to comment on since she is my mother.

C. She's a senile old crone. Respect her dodo head...

Acting ignorant while she's the one with stupid signs pointing at her head...

I cant do that if she's giving me reasons to hate her guts!!! Really, believe me, I try my best not to upset her but she finds the time to mess me up that I have to scream into a pillow to relieve the need to take a shotgun and blast her away to that old people home in the sky.

I know which one my mother really meant, but I considered it last. It should speak volumes already. I guess we all know who's not going to be in the will, don't we...

Thursday, August 12, 2004

And the Plane Ticket Costs Four Hundred Dollars

Things are never the way they should be even if their for the better, trust me... As the movies as my witness...

Alright... I'm here... Now why can't I figure out what everyone's been so exited about?

People around me back in the Philippines have been like, "Oh, your so lucky. (in sweet mushy sound voices that make you barf)", and, "wow you know that's a great opportunity! (with an unwanted and, not to mention, painful pat (or punch, whichever you think is appropriate...) on the back.

Bunch of stereotype dodo...

I cant see what's so great about being in a country where your skin dries up, you get more allergies than you have back home, you have to walk to where ever your headed to, where the trains in the subway are in the same condition as the LRT trains, where people throw trash everywhere like in Manila and, most especially, where a stupid man is the president of the country (GO, the other guy!!!).

I'm not saying that this place is a total wash out, I just don't see why everyone back home wants to be here... I could state a bunch of reasons and they'd still jump at the opportunity to come here.

There are some good points to this migration, I think I should state them just to be fair. I did get to see Time Square, which was ok. Saint Patrick's Catherdral smelled funny because of the things they burn in there but I like all the marble statue's. Rockefeller (did I spell it right???) Center looks better at night with all the pretty lights and I just cant wait for winter and the blistering cold, when I could die and my ears might fall of.

Monday, August 09, 2004

The Un-Method

People have ways of doing thing, disrupt their flow and they go crazy

It has been three days since my arrival in the US, and it has been exactly 3 days that I have not had my generous dose of nicotine.

Things here are more or less uninteresting of late. It might be due to the fact that I have not seen much of the outside since I've got nothing to do outside.

Life's good here in general, as much as a jobless, own-home-less family unit in the US can get. It would be a lot better if I had a few cigs every now and then.

I have had a hard time finding insperation in this ubber lack of nicotine in my blood stream so you must excuse my lack of post-age. I might go out and buy some when I get a job but right now funds are limited and I need all the money I can get. 'Till then I would have to agonize in nicotine withdrawal. Please say a prayer for me every now and then... or at least half of one.

Sunday, August 01, 2004

My Rear Side is Besieged

When one releases the free floating internet virus, I sure hope it bite them back in their proverbial internet avatar butts

I must again apologize for my lack of post-age. This time it wasn't my fault, honest.

My computer has been the recent victim of a floating Trojan virus out there in the World Wide Web. It must have hitched a ride in my habitual downloading. It really bites that people do that. Luckily, my hard drive wasn't damaged beyond repair, although I couldn’t open a single damn application without it crashing. It must have hit only my windows systems before the AVG shield kicked in.

In the back of my mind, I enjoy the occasional destruction and mayhem. God knows, I must have planned several terrorist plans in my mind (none of which I plan to execute, it's just a fun past time, however weird and morbid it may sound), but when the victim becomes me... now that’s a whole different equation. I just can’t feel that victimized feeling and the feeling that some idiot is laughing their heart (or heart's, I can’t deny the fact that two or more people might have been involved in this grade school prank) at my expense.

I wish I could get back at them. But such things are more or less untraceable especially with my meager resources. What can a lowly computer dumdum like me do you might ask? Gather the tattered shred that is my computer and try to rebuild and brace myself for the next cyber siege, more or less. Right now I just feel the need to kick something. Hmm... I wonder what the cat is doing???